“Depression sufferers who only take medication, and do not receive psychotherapy, have a significantly higher rate of relapse.”

With this comment, David Yapko is advocating for a biopsychosocial approach to depression treatment. He believes that depression is related to genetics, psychological factors such as negative or positive thinking styles, and to the social system in which we live. The name of his book, “Hand-Me-Down-Blues” discusses the role that families play in inadvertently transmitting depressive patterns to children. We may learn a particular style of thinking and relating to the world from our parents. That style of thinking will determine how we approach the problems and challenges of daily living, and may in turn, effect our mood and depression levels. In psychotherapy, we have the opportunity to explore both our current thought processes, and the context from which they evolved. In so doing, we can make the changes necessary to prevent relapses of depression in future.

If you would like to read more about this, please see:

“Hand-Me-Down-Blues” by David Yapko.

If you want to feel better, you must realize that your thoughts and attitudes-not external events-create your feelings. You can learn to change the way you think, feel and behave in the here-and –now…The messages you give yourself have enormous impact on your emotions…by learning to change your thoughts, you can change the way you feel.”

This quote from David Burns describes the basis of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Cognition means “thought”, and this therapy teaches us to be aware and recognize our underlying irrational thoughts and beliefs. This puts us in the driver’s seat in our lives, as we can actively choose more rational, adaptive thoughts, which in turn, reduces feelings of anxiety and depression. Based on current research, Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is one of the most effective ways of treating anxiety and depression known today.

To learn more about this approach, please read:

The Feeling Good Handbook, by David Burns
Or
Mind Over Mood, by D. Greenberger and C. Padesky

One of the most common reasons that couples request counselling is because they feel emotionally and sexually disconnected.

“…keeping passion and intimacy alive requires facing the anxiety of defining yourself while getting close to your partner.”

In this quote, David Schnarch is referring to the process of individuation. He means that in order to have a vibrant, emotionally and sexually satisfying relationship, we have to be able to balance the force for togetherness with the force for individuality. In other words, passionate marriage requires that we be able to emotionally connect without sacrificing our sense of self. This is no small feat, given the push-pull of any marriage or long term relationship. We may be so afraid of losing our partner that we either don’t allow ourselves to get emotionally close (disengagement), or we get too close to avoid loss (fusion), and end up losing ourselves. Either pattern will diminish the potential intimacy that a couple may have.

If you’d like to read more about this approach to relationship satisfaction, please see:

“Passionate Marriage” by David Schnarch